The Tale of Half a Goat (491)

The arms of Sir Denzil

For various reasons, this (possibly apocryphal) little adventure does not appear in the relevant book (VIII) of La Chanson du Beau Danseur, but is retained in The Doggerels of Sir Denzil, the tales of a bachelor in Sir Benesek's service.

Sir Benesek and the Wisdom of Solomon

...then, his wounds having healed, did my lord ride through Cornish lands, accompanied by numerous weeping women and dour damsels, as was his fashion in that year. It was my duty to accompany Sir Benesek, of course, and with us also were Sir Gorvannon and Sir Evan of Woodford. On one such jaunt we encountered a decrepit villein by the name of Roger, who begged our aid: he claimed that a fellow villein of his village, a man by the name of Jones, had lain with his wife.

Having naught else to occupy us, we proceeded to the hovel wherein we were told this Jones lived, and encountered one of his mean kin, who protested that Jones was not present, being occupied in the mines. At this, Sir Evan demanded that this villein set off that instant, to bring Jones back to our judgement. This he made to do, but ere he had left, Sir Benesek hailed him back, and lambasted the churl for leaving without giving the knights due hospitality. That done, the villein and Sir Evan departed to find Jones, and soon returned with that wretched peasant in tow.

Now, it happened that Roger, the peasant who had brought these charges, was nowhere to be found. This vexed all the knights considerably, and Sir Benesek and Sir Gorvannon went to Roger's domicile, where they met his mother, a decrepit crone, who informed them that now Roger had gone to the mines. Thoroughly annoyed at this, Sir Benesek and Sir Gorvannon rode to the mines and thereupon heard that all said churls were engaged therein. There being no other road open, Sir Benesek dismounted, and with his loyal squire Marrek, entered the dark void.

For many hours was he absent, and all wondered what fabulous beasts he had met in such caverns. Then did this villein Roger appear, but of Sir Benesek still was there no sign. Finally after much travail did my lord knight appear, covered from head to toe in blackest grime and coaldust, his face blacker with anger still, with an expression that brooked no question of his tardiness. That done we repaired with haste to the village, where my lord knights Sir Gorvannon and Sir Benesek sat in judgement.

Though clearly past patience at such as had come to pass and the labours that had engaged them, my lords perceived with justice the matter before them, in which 'twas clear that this vile Jones had done mal engine with Roger's wife. Finally soot-blackened Sir Benesek rose, and with no little temper pronounced his doom: "Jones, you vile and villeinous wretch, you are guilty before God. Do you have any livestock?"

"One goat, milord..." was the reply. At this Sir Benesek pointed to Roger and said, "Then give him half of it."

And then my lords rode off.